i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
