TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
