so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
What did we do last night that was yellow?
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
