is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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