So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
