What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
