I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
