what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
