The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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