the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
