I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
so let's talk penis.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
