im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
