I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
