i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
