he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
