I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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