and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
