I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I just googled if crying burns calories
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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