can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
That's how pantless uber rides happen
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Randomize
