omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Randomize