I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize
