So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Randomize
