I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
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