Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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