The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Randomize
