remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Randomize
