I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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