shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
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