Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
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