There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Randomize
