You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
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