So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
