went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Randomize
