I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
