I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
that's an acceptable place to lick
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
