No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
