i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
