I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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