You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
