my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
