Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
