There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
