dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
