She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
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