Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
