Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
