She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I've blown a few things in my day
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Randomize
