it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Randomize
