D3 body, D1 cock
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
