Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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