So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
